


sacred stoners

by kowaidesuka



Category: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Multi, also there is eirichel and ephlyon in this I just don't want to flood the tags, pre-emptively sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24124294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kowaidesuka/pseuds/kowaidesuka
Summary: ShotThruTheHeart:7? Did you say 7?pick fights, not noses:.pick fights, not noses:actually on second thought this looks more like a 1 ahahahahahaShotThruTheHeart:Ephraim.ShotThruTheHeart:I think we’re perfectly capable of getting along well enough now. This isn’t going to turn into another freshman Gym incident, is it?
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	sacred stoners

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say to this except it's quarantine and I felt like shitposting. let me live :((
> 
> Also this is probably mostly likely it unless I come up with more ideas, so marking this as complete for now
> 
> **pick fights, not noses:** Ephraim  
>  **ShotThruTheHeart:** Innes  
>  **Paprika:** Eirika  
>  **TurnAroundBrightEyes:** Tana  
>  **shadowprince:** Lyon  
>  **Godisawoman:** L’arachel  
>  **RedBlack:** Joshua  
>  **Leonardo da BINCHi:** Forde  
>  **what the FRICK is up/No:** Kyle

** Sacred Stoners (7) **

**_06:45am_**

**pick fights, not noses:** good morning beautiful people

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** gm!

**ShotThruTheHeart:** No, you can't have my homework answers

**pick fights, not noses:** wait

**pick fights, not noses:** there was hw?

**pick fights, not noses:** shit

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** ooft

**Paprika:** mcgregor is gonna chew you alive lol

**RedBlack:** homework? for a compulsory subject you could care less about? can't relate

**Paprika:** :| we get it, you graduated already

**pick fights, not noses:** hows postgrad life anyway lmao

**RedBlack:** i take naps, then get stressed about bills and deadlines piling up, then to relax i take more naps

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** biggest mood

**Godisawoman:** Ephraim my dearest companion! I'd be delighted to offer up my vast knowledge and advice on Archanean history!

**pick fights, not noses:** thanks lara but… the course changed this sem to covering the Grannvale wars instead

**Godisawoman:** Oh.

**Godisawoman:** Then I have nothing to offer you. Lmao!

**shadowprince:** Eph I could come over early to go over the worksheet if you wanted?

**shadowprince:** if you could drive us both to school after :)

**pick fights, not noses:** <3 <3 <3 babe

**pick fights, not noses:** i would have driven you anyway but

**pick fights, not noses:** i owe you my life 

**shadowprince:** <3 <3 <3

**Paprika:** gaaaaaay

**pick fights, not noses:** like you can talk

**Paprika:** touche

**Godisawoman:** It's true and you should say it!

**Paprika:** <3

**Godisawoman:** <3

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** renais twins are true wlw mlm solidarity

**_11:09am_**

**Godisawoman:** Psst. What number did everyone else pull?

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Why are we talking on here now

**Godisawoman:** Because I can’t just call across the room to all of you! That would be rude to Ms. Selena.

**ShotThruTheHeart:** As rude as not paying attention in the first place?

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** what’s going on

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Tana, you shouldn’t be on your phone either

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** oh bite me, I have a free rn

**Paprika:** oh hey Tana!

**Paprika:** we’re drawing lots for project members for AP Lit

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** oh right, you’re all in the same class

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** wish I could be with you guys :( if only I were born earlier

**pick fights, not noses:** haha being the little sister isn’t so bad

**Paprika:** oh god here we go again

**pick fights, not noses:** you get to hear all the wisdom that your big brothers can impart onto you

**Paprika:** wisdom? from /you/?

**pick fights, not noses:** why, I remember when I was Eirika’s age, I was in AP Lit

**Paprika:** shut up shut up shut up

**pick fights, not noses:** pulling a slip of paper with the number 7 on it and hoping that my wonderful genius bf did the same

**Paprika:** shut the hell up

**pick fights, not noses:** :)

**shadowprince:** sorry Ephraim :(

**pick fights, not noses:** :(

**shadowprince:** though you might be overselling my skills a bit, haha.

**ShotThruTheHeart:** 7? Did you say 7?

**pick fights, not noses:** .

**pick fights, not noses:** actually on second thought this looks more like a 1 ahahahahaha

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Ephraim.

**ShotThruTheHeart:** I think we’re perfectly capable of getting along well enough now. This isn’t going to turn into another freshman Gym incident, is it?

**Godisawoman:** Freshman Gym?

**RedBlack:** that was YOU TWO?

**pick fights, not noses:** joshua… josh… buddy

**pick fights, not noses:** that was the reason you first noticed us and started hanging out with us, remember?

**RedBlack:** oh right

**RedBlack:** i’ve done a lot of partying back in the day ok

**RedBlack:** my memory isn’t what it used to be

**Paprika:** I’ll tell u later lara ok?

**Godisawoman:** I’ll hold you to it!

**Godisawoman:** Anyway, back to the matter at hand. My chosen number is 10!

**Paprika:** ah rip. 3

**shadowprince:** I got 8

**RedBlack:** wait is this that dumb AP Lit thing where you had to pick a scene from a book and make a modern film about it

**pick fights, not noses:** yep

**Paprika:** ah, we’re moving seats now apparently

**Paprika:** ttyl Tana and Josh!

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** right! Have fun!

**_12:50pm_ **

**RedBlack:** so who’d you guys end up getting grouped with anyway

**ShotThruTheHeart:** why do you even care

**RedBlack:** im fucking bored okay

**RedBlack:** turns out being a tired college kid procrastinating on finding research literature is boring

**RedBlack:** indulge me

**RedBlack:** entertain me

**Paprika:** please never say that again, you sound like valter

**RedBlack:** LMFAO forgot about that

**RedBlack:** have they fired him yet

**Godisawoman:** Unfortunately not. The most vile custodian the school has had the displeasure of hiring.

**Paprika:** defs

**Paprika:** anyway the last person to round off Eph's and Innes' group is Vanessa 

**Paprika:** judging by the look on her face she's already so sick of the two of them HAHA

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** mood

**Godisawoman:** mood

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Hmph

**pick fights, not noses:** wha

**RedBlack:** mood

**shadowprince:** … mood :)

**pick fights, not noses:** WOW BETRAYAL

**shadowprince:** Haha, I kid. But to be honest, it is quite exhausting having to hang out with the two of you in isolation.

**shadowprince:** You've grown a lot since freshman year though, which I'm quite proud of :)

**pick fights, not noses:** Lyon <3

**pick fights, not noses:** i’m the one that should be proud though, of my super smart and caring bf

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** oh boy, anyone have the card on hand?

**Godisawoman:** gay_uno_reverse_card.jpg  


**Godisawoman:** I am always here for the assist!

**pick fights, not noses:** h

**shadowprince:** oh, sorry, did we get carried away again?

**Paprika:** nah, you good, Lyon

**Paprika:** it’s just super fucking freaky when my brother does it

**pick fights, not noses:** hey >:(

**Godisawoman:** Eirika is correct, Ephraim! A healthy relationship consists of equal parts compliments and light roasting!

**Paprika:** me preventing you from doing crime is not roasting you, dear

**_3:18pm_ **

**Paprika:** anyway, I got grouped with Rennac and Cormag, which I’m not that thrilled about

**Godisawoman:** Rennac is not that bad!

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Wasn’t he the guy who got fired from the country club for pocketing his tips instead of putting them in the tip pool

**RedBlack:** tbf that is a shit reason to get fired over

**Godisawoman:** Admittedly, yes he was, but he is not the degenerate free rider he appears to be. I happen to know that he is quite good at English! And a skilled dancer, if you’re choosing one of the Kakusei chapters featuring dancers.

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Please do not dress Rennac up as Olivia

**Godisawoman:** Well. Wouldn’t that be a sight? :)

**Paprika:** hmm, alright. I guess we’ll see how it goes.

**Paprika:** not too sure about Cormag either but still, it’s early days

**pick fights, not noses:** hey @RedBlack wasn’t cormag’s bro glen in your year

**RedBlack:** don’t remember

**Paprika:** he… he was sitting next to you during graduation???

**RedBlack:** ok i definitely don’t remember THAT night at all

**ShotThruTheHeart:** Useless. Absolutely useless

**Godisawoman:** I myself have been allocated Lute and Knoll as my group members.

**Godisawoman:** Say, Lyon, isn’t Knoll your friend?

**shadowprince:** yes

**shadowprince** : We were lab partners sophomore year and friends ever since :) he has a lot of extracurricular stuff to look after this sem though, but he’s a hard worker and can probably meet up weekends

**Godisawoman:** Excellent!

**_4:20pm_ **

**pick fights, not noses:** ayyy

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** Ayyy

**Paprika:** ayyy

**shadowprince:** Ayyy

**redblack:** ayyy

**Godisawoman:** Ayyy!

**ShotThruTheHeart:** oh not this nonsense again.

**_4:50pm_ **

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** wait, isn’t Lute in my grade?

**Paprika:** yeah, the school let her do a few AP classes early though

**Paprika:** she’s in my bio class and it’s crazy how fast she learns stuff

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** darn, that’s pretty cool!

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** what about you, Lyon? How’s your group looking?

**Paprika:** he got Kyle and Forde and for that I pity him

**shadowprince:** oh, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Despite Ephraim’s trauma last year, I believe we can make it work.

**pick fights, not noses:** for the last time it wasn’t their fault okay??? it was all stupid Orson’s fault >:(

**Paprika:** it was just a shitshow all around tbh

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** huh what?? :oo wait Kyle and Forde as in those dudes on the basketball team with you?

**pick fights, not noses:** yes

**pick fights, not noses:** Eirika’s not fond of them due to the Incident last year but ball is life okay and I trust them with mine

**RedBlack:** what the /fuck/ does that even mean

**pick fights, not noses:** anyway I was gonna ask if it was okay to add them here

**Paprika:** for why

**pick fights, not noses:** to help me tell the story of the Incident since y’all gotta know

**pick fights, not noses:** and also to maybe get Lyon a bit more comfortable with them? since you guys don’t really hang out at school

**shadowprince:** Oh… yeah, I don’t mind :)

**Paprika:** fine

**TurnAroundBrightEyes:** yeah go ahead!!

**_pick fights, not noses added Kyle and Forde._ **

****

****

**Kyle:** oh god what now

**Forde:** what is UP fellow gamers

**pick fights, not noses:** ayyy

**Forde:** ayyy

**_Forde changed their name to Leonardo da BINCHi._ **

**__**

**__**

**_Leonardo da BINCHi changed Kyle’s name to what the FRICK is up._ **

**what the FRICK is up:** no

**_what the FRICK is up changed their name to No._ **

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** smh fine

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** anyway what is this for

**pick fights, not noses:** say hi to your saviour @shadowprince

**shadowprince:** oh Ephraim, please

**shadowprince:** hi Kyle and Forde, it's Lyon. Sorry I had to run off after Lit today, Physics is all the way at the other building

**No:** that's fine

**No:** happy to have you with us since you seem alright. better than forde at any rate

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** wow rude!!!

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** anyway yes yay Lyon

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** it's so weird how we like see you every week but never get the chance to talk to you or get to know you properly

**shadowprince:** Oh?

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** every pre and post game you're preoccupied by ephraim smooching u

**pick fights, not noses:** forde wtf

**pick fights, not noses:** you didnt need to tell literally everyone that

**ShotThruTheHeart:** You /really/ didn't

**Paprika:** brother wbk that you're whipped

**pick fights, not noses:** anyway

**pick fights, not noses:** the second part of this was so you could help me narrate The Incident

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** oh GOD

**No:** no

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** Kyle we gotta

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** it's our legacy

**Godisawoman:** Yes please! I've found every whisper of this "incident" very intriguing.

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** and that's all the approval I needed!!!

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** STORYTIME: The Worst Group Project Of My Life (Or: The Real Reason I Dropped Out) [GONE WRONG] [NOT CLICKBAIT]

**No:** i should say i don't know you

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** kyle :(

**No:** i should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

**Leonardo da BINCHi:** but ya didnt

**Author's Note:**

> re: the 'Freshman Gym Incident' I kept it vague on purpose but essentially imagine the worst altercation you've ever witnessed in gym class and multiply it by 10 and that's Ephraim and Innes in a nutshell


End file.
